From left to right:
“Bonnie Boner” (or Eddie Erected or The Stallion);
“Tinkle Tamer” (or Irving is Interested);
“Penis Purse” (or Wee Willie)
Disclaimer: These patterns were “named” years ago by a friend. For those who feel self-important enough to think they were named for you specifically, they were not.
We do not know you nor are we out to “get” you.
We suggest intense therapy for those who think otherwise.
I used #20 thread on all of the samples. You can use whatever yarn and needles you wish…
“Bonnie Boner” (Eddie Erected or The Stallion)
#1 needles
I used the Double Seed Stitch Pattern:
Rows 1 & 2: *k2, p2* across.
Rows 3 & 4: *p2, k2* across.
Cast on 64 sts.
Do the stitch pattern or knit in stockinette stitch for 6 rows.
Next Row: Do the pattern stitch or knit across on 20 sts. Put rem stitches on a holder.
Work on these 20 sts for 18 rows. Cut yarn, leaving enough to thread yarn through sts & draw up tight, secure.
Join yarn to next 24 sts & do pattern stitch or knit for 24+ rows. Or however you want the main bit to be.
Thread yarn through sts & draw up tight, secure.
Join yarn to last 20 sts, do the pattern stitch or knit for 18 rows.
Thread yarn through sts & draw up tight, secure.
Sew seam. See photo below. The seam is from the tip of the longest bit, to the sack, around and to the top of the warmer.
Wee Willie sewing up pic: 
Single crochet 2 sts tog around top. Join. Chain 4, * dc, ch 1, * around.
Join & end off. Make a chain 50 sts long. Thread it through the dc’s & tie in front.
“Tinkle Tamer” (or Irving is Interestd)
#00 needles
Cast on 21 sts.
Knit in stockinette stitch for 2 rows.
Next Row: k1, *yo, k1* across. (41 sts) Purl back.
Do 2 more rows of stockinette stitch. Next Row: Do knit across on 12 sts.
Work on these 12 sts for 12 rows. Cut yarn, leaving enough to thread yarn through sts & draw up tight, secure.
Join yarn to next 17 sts & knit for 24+ rows. Or however you want the main bit to be.
Thread yarn through sts & draw up tight, secure.
Join yarn to last 12 sts, do the pattern stitch or knit for 18 rows.
Thread yarn through sts & draw up tight, secure.
Sew seam. The seam is from the tip of the longest bit, to the sack, around and to the top of the warmer.
Make a chain 50 sts long. Thread it through the beading holes made at the beginning of the warmer & tie in front.
“Penis Purse” (or Wee Willie)
Do the same as the “Tinkle Tamer”, except on #0000 needles.
© copyright by Debra Matz, 2000
You can copy, use the pattern to make & sell the finished items & pass around the patterns featured on this page, BUT!, please keep my name & copyright attached to each copy.
